Guardian Angel, Chapter Six

Chapter Six

The suffocating sensation of a blanket over my face is what made me return from my little world; not the sounds of plastic bags that I should have heard when Cash had come back. I didn’t move from my spot, but instead looked out the windows to regain my bearings. It was futile, given that the raining clouds didn’t tell time. The purple-black masses didn’t give me the chills they once had, but now, as I watched them, I almost understood them. With a weak smile, I closed my eyes, and listened to more of what was going on around me. A navy blue comforter was what was covering me carefully, placed there right out of it’s new bag by Cash. From around the kitchen came the sounds of bags being emptied and boxes being opened. Then, it was the unclasping of a case that made me leap up.

The sound was too familiar, as I looked over to where Cash was huddled, to be anything other than what I knew it was. My old companion, my treasure, had to be just beyond there. “Cash?” I asked, as he looked back to where I was standing, hand on the counter. “Yes, Ang?” He said, his half smile placed perfectly on his lips. My smile couldn’t have been broader as I skidded knees first next to him to see what he’d opened, and there - in front of my new eyes- sat my guitar, cleaned and freshly stringed. “You really did keep it for me,” I whispered, almost in shock. Cash nodded as he picked the guitar up gently and held it up for me to see. “Of course, I had to do some vanity work on it. All those dings and dents didn’t really work for you - you deserved something nice. I guess, though, I knew you wouldn’t want to part with your old friend.”

I didn’t know what to say to him, as he stood and began unloading more bags. “I went to my storage locker to get it. You may need to tune it - because it’s been sitting there for a month or two. The strings are some of the latest, so it may not be too bad. You know new strings though, always finicky.” I took my time looking over the instrument, and found where the biggest of the gashes in the guitar’s finish had been. The fix on it was very clean, and it took me a few seconds to find it, but the nostalgia of the instrument made me feel like I could fly. The music that suddenly flooded my mind once more made me smile - each and every word weighed with many memories.

And now, the memories didn’t seem so bad.

Closing the guitar back in it’s case for now, I stood to look at what Cash was doing. Already on the counter top lay multiple pairs of jeans, socks, a few tee shirts and what looked like four sweaters that looked more than a little expensive. “Cash, why’s all of this here?” I asked, though I already had guessed his answer. “You can’t wear those every day, can you?” He asked, looking me over with a questioning smile. I shrugged, and pulled a quick retort. “You never complained before - I’ve almost always dressed like this,” I said, and leaned my elbows on the counter, peeking into another bag casually. There was a jacket in there. A peacoat, to be exact.  It’s black fabric looked soft, but before I reached in, Cash distracted me. “Why don’t you go change? I mean, I’d like to know that I got the right stuff.” He said, looking away conveniently as I tried to see his expression. “Fine,” I said, hiding the curiosity that had suddenly bitten the back of my mind.

I went into his room, a couple bags in hand, and closed the door. I locked it, quietly, then set the bags on the floor. Fresh underwear made me blush, as I opened the bags. Then, I saw the clothes. Jeans, a tee shirt, a sweater. Socks, and my sneakers. A collected casual, I thought. Making sure my long hair was still tied back, I walked out. “Okay, genius. How do I look?” I asked. He looked away from the TV, and after a brief moment, smiled broadly. “Well, it’s good to know that my guessing skills are dead on,” he said, and then ran a hand through his blonde hair. “That doesn’t answer the question,” I sighed, putting a flippant hand on my hip and eying him. He arched an eyebrow at the attitude, but then laughed quietly. “You look great, Krista. You always do.” He said, unfazed by his own words. I blushed again, realizing that he’d actually been looking.

Then, I realized I was blushing. Okay, so I could blush? But, I couldn’t cry? No, that wasn’t the case. I hadn’t cried before, because I didn’t need to. The thought made me frown, but then I thought better of it, and walked over to join him over at the sofa. Cash moved his feet off of the other side of the sofa to let me sit next to him, and I almost automatically recognized the old action movie he was watching. “Big Trouble in Little China?” I asked, almost surprised with his taste. “Yeah, so?” He replied, looking at me with a puzzled look. “Oh, nothing.” I said, and snuggled in with the comforter Cash once again put over me. “I bought an air mattress, too. So even if you don’t want to accept the perfect hospitality, you’ll have something better than a sofa.” He reached over and ruffed the top of my head playfully, even slightly condescendingly, but I knew it was still a friendly gesture.

The movie continued on, but before long my attention was drawn away by Cash - though not though anything he was doing. Looking at him as he watched the movie, I wondered how I had never guessed that he was immortal. I mean, sure, he’d never been injured in any of the fights I’d known about. He’d also never had a single blemish - no acne, no old scars - though I’d always supposed he’d just been a lucky teenager. He was a couple years older than me, in appearance. Maybe 20? 21? I’d never asked - and he’d never told. His blonde hair reflected the dim light from the outside, as we’d turned the lights down a few moments after my sitting down. His dark eyes focused on the movie, or at least seemed to. Part of me told me he knew I was looking at him - but was letting me be.

Shifting so that I wouldn’t be able to look at him anymore, I decided to close my eyes. I’d seen the movie many times before - my father had enjoyed the movie almost as much as my siblings had, what seemed like so long ago now. It seemed like so much had changed since the naive years I’d spent at home. Sighing, I swallowed the fact that I would never be able to go back to those days. Maybe it would be best to forget them, even. Clenching my jaw, and then laughing to myself, I realized a quiet thought: Mother Nature would plague me no more!

Of course, with somber twists - I would never be able to have kids. I had, however, already realized that my cruel reality really did have it’s ups and downs.

It wasn’t until now that I realized I’d actually returned to my numb place - and had apparently seemed to have fallen asleep. Cash was walking around, and when I opened my eyes, I saw the mattress was inflated. He was walking to his room, apparently leaving me for the evening. “Goodnight, Krista.” He said, looking back at me. Yes, he did know when I was looking at him.
“Goodnight, Cash.”

When he was in his room, the door closed, I went to lay on the bed. Realizing that I was still in my clothes, I walked over to the plastic bags. Finding a pair of pajama shorts, I took my new jeans off, and laid them and the sweater on the counter once I’d refolded them.

Guardian Angel, Chapter Five

Chapter Five

“Whoa, Krista. Chill out - you just left a dent in the wall!” Cash said, putting a hand on my shoulder, and easing my head away from the dent. It was then that I realized that even the way I perceived physical contact was different. “Cash, what’s wrong with me?” I asked.

Cash looked at me like I’d asked a ridiculous question. “Nothing, Angel. Why would you ask?” He said, placing fingers gently in my hair, his full attention on me again. “What’s wrong with me?” I asked again. “Don’t play coy - what’s going on with my body. I can’t feel pain?” My voice became even more scared as I looked desperately at him, wondering if an Angel was something I could really deal with being.

“No, you can’t. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” He said. “What about heat? Or the cold?” I asked. “It’s nearly winter, and I couldn’t tell the difference outside.”

Cash sighed, and laid against the arm of the sofa, his feet across my lap. “Welcome to my world, Krista. It’s the life of anybody who’s an angel. The fallen are the same way; We don’t feel experience the same things as humans, and we can never be like them again.”

“Can we die?” I asked.

Cash only shook his head in reply. “But what if I don’t want to do this?” I asked. “There is no choice. We don’t get to pick, Krista. Damn it, I thought that point was clear.”

I looked at him, knowing that if I could have had it that way, my eyes would be red from crying - but no tears came, not even the sting of them hiding behind my eyes. Gripping a pillow, and feeling the material beginning to tear under my hold, I tried to calm down. However, I guessed it was just another quirk to be unable to let this fury go.

Cash sat there for a while, as I simply sat and glared out the window, and across the lower buildings in this part of New York. It seemed that he got bored afterwards, and began to wander about his apartment, or more like his flat. It was much larger, and had multiple bedrooms - one of which he disappeared into. He didn’t return, and it wasn’t until I heard the water of the shower, faint from through the two doors that now separated us. 

The silence, as I realized that I was no longer in neutral territory seemed a little awkward as I sat, and looked more thoroughly around the area, noticing that there were no pictures, not even paintings. The walls were a barely-there blue that reminded me of icicles, and the floor’s carpets were nearly jet black, and pristine. It seemed that even my shoes, though as miraculously clean as they were, hadn’t left a speck of dust behind. Expensive was the first word that came into my mind, and once again I was forced to wonder how Cash really had come up with all the money.

There was a set of keys on the marble counter near what appeared to be a fully functioning glass stove top, and a rather large refrigerator. Opening the fridge, I noticed it was stockpiled. Taking a fruit soda from the door, I opened it quietly. The view from the place may have once been majestic for me, but now, it almost felt like a cage.

Gritting my teeth as the near painful carbonation touched the back of my throat, I realized that the water from the shower was now off. Cash had always taken lightening fast showers, but I took the silence as a sign that Cash would be back soon.

Sitting down in a different chair that faced the wall I’d dented, I closed my eyes and simply listened as Cash moved quietly about in his room. Then, I thought about my own wardrobe. The clothes that I had died in, which were on me now, were somehow clean and almost looked as new as they had been when I’d bought them - when I’d still been living at home. With the family that had left me to die. Just like I eventually had.

They would never know. They would never care. To them, I never even existed. I didn’t formally exist. The reality of the situation still burned whatever of a heart I had left. Gripping the can until I knew that, any tighter, the soda would be spilling all over the chair and the carpet. Hearing Cash not far away, I knew that damaging more of his property wasn’t going to win me any favors.

“Hey, Krista.” He said, his voice from above me. I opened my eyes and cocked my head back to look for him. He was looking over the top of the lounge chair, his dark eyes the only thing that gave a clue to the fact he knew he’d scared me. “Yea?” I asked, taking a deep breath and looking at him more with more focus than before. Casually, he brushed a piece of hair from my face. “So, where do you want to sleep - I mean, you can have my bedroom if you want. I’m fine with the sofa.” He said, and then walked over to it, flopping at his fully length across it, smiling lazily, looking much like a cat as he eyed me.

“I’m fine with the sofa,” I said. Surely, I wasn’t going to sleep much anyways, so why steal the host’s bed? I sighed, and stood, and walked towards the floor to ceiling windows that looked onto the balcony, and from there, to the great view before it. “You sure, Angel?” He asked, not moving from where he was. I nodded, and then there was a sighed ‘okay’.

He made sandwiches for lunch, and then left - leaving the impression that he had necessary errands to run. Leaving me with his now otherwise empty apartment, the TV remote, and the passing phrase ‘help yourself’, I lay stomach-down on the floor to channel surf. Of course, the place I inevitably landed on was one of many music channels. The Eminem Rewind, I figured, wouldn’t be that bad to listen to. Letting my mind focus more on the lyrics than my own problems, I settled into a numb mentality as I listened for other signs of life near myself, and the music.

The wings on my back still made themselves known with a mild weight that eventually made me decide to lay on my side, facing the great windows. The bright sky of the morning had faded with dull purple clouds, and I decided that -if I ever really had a chance- I was going to ask the Big Man himself why he’d chosen me of all people to be an angel. Sure, I hadn’t had much going for me, before, but what was I supposed to do now?


I was a dead 17 year old girl with a family that wouldn’t remember me. I had bright white wings that no normal person could see - but I could see every body else’s wings, the ghost wings of fallen angels, and various tell tales of demons. Nobody knew me, and it was apparent that it even with the number of people who had puzzled second glances at me before, I was going to be an unnoticed passer-by in a lot of peoples lives. Transient, unnoticed, and immortal. Unchanging.

I would never grow up, never grow old, never get married, never have kids. It was the classic child vampire tragedy, and yet, this was only all the more ironic. God had given this to me, and it couldn’t be revoked just by asking.

Still numb, without even a tear or a clenched fist, I closed my eyes and shut my heart to the thoughts and dull emotions that wanted to rise in my throat like bile. Nothing like tears was going to help me - so why waste them? Draping a wing over my exposed side, I covered myself and dragged my consciousness under and into a dark place that not even my memories would touch.

My safety zone.

Guardian Angel, Chapter Four pt. 2

Part Two
* * *

Dead.

Being ‘dead’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Especially since, now, I’m somebody who died in one of the biggest gang related incidents in New York. Unclaimed by anybody, my body had been burned. My spirit was lost now, in the city.

I was a spirit for only until my body was destroyed. Then, I was back. Sitting on the park bench, like I’d been there all along. I had been dead, though. I knew it – and the hollow sensation in my chest reminded me every time I looked around. People walked by like they’d never seen me before, but when I looked at my hands, I saw no difference. I even had the same ring on that I’d been wearing before the accident. The park, however, did look different. The trees were bigger, and the bench that Cash and I had been sitting on what seemed like only a matter of days ago was old now. “What happened?” I voiced aloud, only earning myself a couple stares from the people around me. When I looked at my shoes, and then saw everybody else’s, I froze. I was even more outdated then I’d been. Not that it mattered at the moment. The point was disturbing, and when I stood, I realized that I stood out more than I had thought. People watched me out of the corner of their eyes, and as I loped away, my fresh and unworn clothing clung to my skin like a sign of the days to come.

Around the corner, I ran. I ran back to the halfway house, but when I arrived at where it should have been, I skidded to a halt. The building was no more – and in it’s place was just another run-of-the-mill apartment complex common to the area. It was new, though, so as the fear of possible dimension changes flashed into my mind’s eye, I shook it out. This was still the New York I’d left. It had just moved on, like things did. But how long had I really been gone.

I walked to find a drug store, and then found a newspaper. The date was 2015. Four years had passed, and yet so much had changed. “Do you want to buy it, or are you just going to stand there gripping it like it’s your only hope?” The store clerk eyed me over half-moon spectacles, his smile friendly despite the half-threatening joke he’d just spouted. “No, I’m just looking at the date. Can’t believe I couldn’t remember it this morning. I lost my phone, that’s all.” I said, acting like any normal person would have. “I don’t have any money.”

The old man nodded, and then went to help a customer who had walked up with items. “Goodbye,” I said, with a backwards smile. It faded when I left the store, and began my aimless walk through the city. I kept my eyes on the ground, in case the people suddenly did remember my face, maybe from some paper or news report. No one stopped to talk to me, which meant that my hunched shoulders were working. I didn’t stop to realize, as the day drew on, that my stomach hadn’t began to feel empty. My energy levels, however, were a different matter. My head seemed foggy as I walked around another corner, the shadows growing deeper. A city church bell sang out that it was eight in the evening, I realized that it must have been late summer, maybe fall. I hadn’t, however, felt the heat of the day.

Some shops were closing, probably because of the gang activity that had rocked this part of town, only four years ago. Not much, physically, had changed of the city. Mentally, though, people had moved on. There were more new cars, sure. Houses had been built, yes. But the faces here were still tired, and worn, and the rush of the city still surged on. I walked past other various tech shops until I saw the giant arch in front of me. I was at the main entrance of China town, but what had pulled me back I couldn’t tell. My meanderings had been directionless, taking me wherever my body had leaned. The coincidence was uncanny, but I walked on despite the vague thrill that charged up my spine from my toes.

Hours ticked on as I walked through the neighborhoods. It eventually grew to be full dark, when the lights of the streets flickered on in full and the restaurants, too, began to close down. It was then that I walked past the restaurants and heard the voice speak my name.

“Hey there, Angel.”

I didn’t turn around as I felt something on my back stretch out and then fold inwards. What? I asked myself - to keep calm as my mind subconsciously recognized who had spoken, and the shock of it sank in. “I’m glad you found your way back, Krista,” he said. Then footsteps came closer, coming down the short set of steps.

I didn’t turn to face Cash as his hand ran up the things that I had just felt appear on my back. “Come on, demon got your tongue? I’m really happy to see you again.” He touched my shoulder, and helped me turn around. “Wings?” I asked, seeing the great white things on his back., mirroring mine. “Yep. Surprised?” He asked, touching my face. I slapped it away. “I want some explanations, if you don’t mind.” I stepped closer to him. “Why am I here, and why the hell do you suddenly have wings?”

His smile faded a little, and he put his hand on my shoulder, reassuringly. “Because I’m a Guardian Angel. I’ve been one for longer than you’ve known me. You just couldn’t see them before – only other angels and the fallen can.” His brown eyes glittered in the night light, and I saw something like adoration in them. “So that means-,” I started, but he finished. “That you’re one too?”

“Yea.”

I stretched my wings out. They were big, but not huge. I guessed, then, that celestial beings didn’t need physics. Cash watched me with the same look, and out of the corner of my eye I watched him cock his head to the side and smile as kept his eyes on me. “Why am I like this?” I asked. “They picked you for guardian duty a couple weeks before you died. I wasn’t your guardian – I couldn’t protect you because of their orders.”

“Why was I picked?” I said, thinking in my head at the wings to just go away. They didn’t. “I can explain that later, but let’s get back to my place. There are creatures here that would pick a fight, if we’re not careful enough.”

I looked around, but almost missed Cash as he started walking away. Somebody crept passed in an alley, and I shuddered at the memory of my death. I ran to catch up with the boy that had once been a security. Now, he was even more of a curiosity than he had been.

His apartment was in a deeper part of the city, surrounded by other apartments and hotels. Taxis swarmed the area, dropping people off. I could actually smell the greed rolling off some people now. I could also smell the sadness of others. There was something here that made my hair stand on end – but when Cash took my hand, the sensation faded.

His apartment was huge, but I didn’t pause to take in the decor. “So what’s going on?” I demanded, turning to face him with my hands on my hips. “Whoa girl,” Cash laughed at my reaction. “Take a deep breath, and tell me what you really want to know.”

Cash leaned against his kitchen counter, and stuck a hand in his pocket. He was far more relaxed here than he’d been – or was it because he was only far more relaxed around me? “Where was I for those four years? Why am I an angel?” I refined the question into the parts that bothered me the most.

Cash looked at me for a while. “You were dead. Simple as that. Time passes differently in Heaven than it does here. You were probably only in Heaven for a few seconds, just passing through, before they sent you back. As for why you’re an angel,” Cash sighed. “I wouldn’t really know a true fact about it. What I do know is that you were practically an angel already, when it came to what you did for that boy. You did a lot for him, even though you owed him nothing.”

I hadn’t even thought about Devyn, not since before that day.  I also hadn’t thought that I was doing that good by helping him. “You had a big heart, considering all the shit that happened to you, Kris.” I walked closer to him, looking at the wings that were still visible on his back. “Is there any way to hide them?” I asked. “No; and not that we would be allowed to, either. It’s a rule.”

“What other rules are there, if such a silly thing is one of them?” I asked. Cash sighed. “Well, for one thing, it’s a basic element of taking some respect for what you are, and who you’re working for, Krista. Secondly, there are too many rules to count. All I know is that under no circumstances are we to break the Big Ten, and to never fall in love with somebody on Earth. It’s the quickest way to become a Fallen.” I ran a hand through my hair. “A Fallen. Like, a fallen angel?” I asked, laughing. Cash shook his head, not looking at me. When he did though, I sensed his growing anger. “This isn’t a joke, Krista. These are rules, and if you’re turned into a Fallen, you can never come back.”

I watched him in silence, as all the humor fell from me. My mind wandered to the night just before I’d died, when he’d been yelling, and then had found me at the door. Even though the boy before me clearly had the mark of the divine on his back, there was a dark side that clearly hadn’t seen much of before. After a while, however, the dark look in his eyes faded into the usual mischievous glitter. He pulled me over to a sofa, and said that I could do whatever I wanted here, when he was around. We talked about little things, until another question finally popped into my head. 

“Why doesn’t anybody remember me? People I used to see at the park looked right at me, and didn’t seem to know my face at all,” I pointed out what I’d noticed when I’d been sitting at the bench. Cash leaned toward me, sitting crossed legged as I was on the sofa. Looking me dead in the eyes as he pulled a small smile. “The benefit of living in New York is that not many people are going to try and hold onto a face that they didn’t even know that well. All it takes is a mass brain fuzz by whatever powers that be, and then you’re not even part of history anymore. I doubt even your family still has a picture of you, as well. It all just disappears - so even though you live in an amnesiac town, nobody else knows you either.”

I took in the information slowly, wondering with a numb sensation, how I actually felt about it. I mean, my family had left me to die out here, so why would it bother me to hear something like that? They’d probably forgotten about me anyways.

It hurt, though, to think that even though I had still loved them, and maybe still did, that they wouldn’t even know that I’d died. They wouldn’t even know that I’d existed. With a harsh laugh, I threw my head back onto the sofa with a thud that only meant I’d hit the wall, instead of my target. It didn’t hurt at all - I didn’t feel anything at the impact. My entire reality was different, and there was not a thing I could do to fix anything that had happened.

Guardian Angel, Chapter Four

Chapter Four

    Exhausted, I climbed out of bed when dawn had finished itself. It was eight in the morning, but Cash was sitting on his bed, in the spot he hadn’t moved from since he’d sat down yesterday. I didn’t try to talk to him. “What’s going through your head, Krista?” He asked as I grabbed my clothes. “Numbness. Exhaustion.” I said, and killed the urge to yawn as it passed through my body, turning into a violent shudder. The knife that had been in my fingers hit the floor and flew open, missing my exposed tows by inches. “What’s going to happen?” I asked. Cash took a sharp breath, but I got no other reply. I dressed in silence after that, but left my guitar case. “If something happens, then, take my stuff. I take it that somebody’s going to want it. I don’t want anyone else to have it.” I looked up at him with a bitter glance, but he nodded. “Good luck, Krista.” He said, and then appeared in front of me. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.” He kissed me on my forehead, and I felt dizzy from the touch.

    Then he was away from me, and down the hallway. I tied my black hair into a ponytail, stared my green eyes down from the mirror, and left my knife on the dresser. I wouldn’t need it where I was going, and I wanted to get it back if there was ever a chance. I didn’t know if there was even going to be a chance of coming back, but from what Cash had been hinting at – I wasn’t leaving for good. Puzzling thoughts, I realized, when nobody had even mentioned death.

    The streets weren’t busy. A couple stragglers to work were rushing towards the nearest bus stops, but the paths were clear to the park. The same shady people were there, but they payed no attention to me as I stalked through in just a tee shirt and my jeans. My boots were silent against the cobblestones, but the sky was grey and the wind echoed in my ears.

    Then there were sirens, and the park seemed to be surrounded by cops. It was too late for me as somebody grabbed me from behind, and I felt the cold hard metal of a gun against my ribs. “Don’t come close, or the bitch gets it!” The person screamed, and I realized that I had chosen poorly. I locked eyes with the officers, but they seemed as stunned as I was. I struggled, but the man’s arm was like steel around my neck and upper body. The gun dug deeper into my ribs, and I whimpered. I looked around wildly, and then saw Cash running around the corner.

    A gunshot tore through the air. It hit next to my foot, and I realized that a sniper must have fired. How big an operation was this? I asked the question in my mind. The coherency in my mind was slowly returning, until the gunman holding me freaked, and fired.

Right through me.

    The pain didn’t last long, because I bled out too quickly. I died, there in the park. So did the gunman, but it didn’t matter. My last mental image was of Cash, wide-eyed at the corner, watching in despair. He’d known it was going to happen – but like this? I guess even this had to have been a shocker, in this city....

.....right?

Guardian Angel, Chapter Three

Chapter Three

    It was already past noon when Cash and I finished. My case was pretty full by then, and it was an amazing sensation to have the people look at me like they did now. A street rat with talent - I guess they never saw that one coming. At the thought, I laughed aloud, and made Cash look up at me in surprise from where he was sitting. “So, lunch?” He asked, the puzzled look fading from his face as quickly as it had come. “Totally,” I said, closing my guitar into it’s case and pocketing the money. “You’ll get the share,” I said, when I saw his eyes follow the money.

     “No, I don’t want it,” his voice cut through the air, as his eyes locked with mine. “It’s yours, really.” His brown eyes were stern, so I didn’t argue, even though I was completely confused by his reaction. “You sing beautifully – besides, I’ve got enough from other things.” Cash took my hand, and then pulled me down the park path. It wasn’t until I saw the huge China Town arch that I realized that he was taking me on yet another adventure. “Well, this is a surprise.” My voice was tired from all the walking, and I had to admit that after this many blocks, the guitar case and it’s contents had grown heavy. “I felt like furthering the change of pace, seeing as we’d already started one today.”

    Cash had let go of my hand a while ago, but we’d walked fairly quickly to get here. Inside the exotic neighborhoods, little shops and cramped alleyways made the place shrink and gave me a minor claustrophobic reaction. It faded as we kept walking, and then was gone as we stepped into a restaurant, and then were seated.

    “Have you come here before?” I asked, as we both looked at the menus. “Nope,” his voice was light but his eyes focused on me. “I’ve been on this side of town, but I’ve never really stopped in anywhere. I just thought it would be cool to try.” He pointed to something on the menu. “I did hear that the eel is good, though. Tastes like chicken!”

    I laughed, then. “Most things taste like chicken, if you cook it too long. As far as I know, though, the only Asian ‘delicacy’ that is best to avoid is Sea Urchin.” I shuddered. “I know from experience. It’s pretty gross,” I smiled at him, and then saw his expression change to something like sadness - but as soon as I acknowledged it, it was gone. “What’s up with you? You’re acting really weird,” I locked eyes with him then, looked away. I peeled my gloves off, and then took my jacket, and other items off. My jeans and tee shirt stood out in modern contrast to the antiquated interior of the area, then again, so did Cash’s clothes. The difference between him and I was that he seemed to stand out more all by himself. He was beautiful, and though for a girl I was pretty well off, I didn’t shine as well as he did. My voice did it for me. “Nothing is wrong,” He said, and ran a hand through his hair. “A thought just crossed my mind – it’s nothing, really.”

      I looked at him for a second, then decided that I had no reason to doubt him. “So, what do you want to eat, Angel?” He asked, after that moments pause. Angel? I paused, again, then looked at my menu. “Don’t really know. They’re Pork Fried Rice sounds like I won’t be hungry for days.” Cash nodded. “Chinese dumplings, depending on how they’re made, are pretty damned good too. They’ll keep you full, for sure.” Cash eyed me again from across the table. “Sounds like a plan to me,” I smiled, and then set down my menu. “And Mountain Dew. I can’t believe that they have it, but I’m so in.”

    Cash and I sat for a few minutes, then gave our requests to a young waitress. When the food arrived, we both ate in silence before the question finally popped out of my mouth. “So where did you get all the money, anyways?” I asked. He shrugged. “I won some in a game. Nothing to worry about, or to really think about at all, if you know what’s good.” Cash winked to make it a joke, but something like a ‘just don’t go there’ hung in his tone. “Whatever,” I sighed, and then ate. Cash’s posture slumped for a moment, like I’d overreacted to something simple. I didn’t care – there was a lot that I didn’t know about this guy, even though I’d lived with him now for almost a year, it seemed. I’d opted for him over the other ‘girls’ who looked like they would kill me for two cents. “I’m impressed with your voice, Krista,” he said, after he had shoveled a fair bit of food into his mouth.

    I ignored his question, and asked my own. “If you’re capable of making good money, why are you still at the halfway?” I asked, arching an eyebrow, irritation filling me. “Why the sudden interest?” He asked, not reacting as I blushed. “I just -,” I started, before he shook his head. “I haven’t left yet because I knew you didn’t have anybody else. I liked you.” The brown eyes in his face had grown dark, and deep. “I’m planning on leaving soon, though. I’m tired of dealing with the constant fighting.” I nodded. Finally, an answer. “Okay, Cash.” I said, and then payed attention to my food once more.

     “I’m leaving tomorrow.” My head snapped up. “What?” I asked, shocked. This conversation was so up and down it was giving me whiplash, but I had caused the majority of it. “I wanted to tell you today. That’s why I brought you.” Cash looked me square in the eyes, but then looked away as the sadness returned. “I can’t tell you exactly why – I know that you won’t except that I just left because of the fighting. I never get that hurt.” He sighed, and then took a sip of his soda. “I want you to visit me, okay?”

    I nodded, but the hollow sensation didn’t ebb as we continued eating. When he payed, I saw that it was all in fresh and clean bills. No bank robberies, clearly. Then where had he gotten all the cash? I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen now, but what, I couldn’t guess.

    The walk back was long, but relatively quiet, unless Cash and I started were laughing at some wanna-be gangster pumping his rap up so loud in his beaten up car, acting like everybody wanted to know how big he thought he was. There were other homeless on the streets, and people watching from corners. There was also the real gangsters, and the pimps waiting for their prostitutes. Cash took my hand during these parts, while I kept my other hand gripped on the end of my knife in my pocket.  It was an even darker city at night.
    Cash opted for me to clean up after we got back, seeing as our towels had been cleaned and my pajamas were freshly folded out on my bed. Normally, it would have been an insult, but to me, it meant that he had phone business to take care of. He was one of the few people in the house who had a cell phone, though most of the other peoples were either being payed by families, or where the five-dollar pay-as-you-go plans that you could buy at the local drug shop. I didn’t say anything when I left, as he was dialing, but the freshening sense of foreboding drove nausea straight into my stomach.

    The shower made me feel no better, even though I was happy to be clean. The hallway was silent, but it meant that I could hear the conversation on Cash’s phone. He’d never yelled in the past, but this time he was, and it was loud. I was silent as the grave as I crept back towards the door, and pressed myself against the wall. “I can’t believe you still want me to do this. You’re just going to make me stand by and do nothing? Do you understand what you’re asking me to do her?” He yelled into the tiny cell phone receiver, inside the room. I couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation, but then Cash was quieter, as if he’d been reprimanded, or even threatened. “I know my job. Yes.” He took a deep breath. “But this is against everything I’ve been taught to do – do you understand that?”

    Then there was the click of the phone being closed. And the door opened, before I could move from where I was, leaning on the wall only inches away from the crappy wooden trip of the door. “Krista?” He asked, unsurprised but probing. I couldn’t respond to his question. Fear gripped me, but before I could move, he pulled me against his chest in a bear hug. His shirt wasn’t there, and through my pajamas I felt the warmth of him. “I’m sorry.” He said, but didn’t say anything when I tore away, and walked to my bed. I felt shaky, and I knew something was horribly wrong, but I couldn’t say without a doubt that I was the ‘her’ he’d been talking about. My teddy bear was askew on my pillow, but on Cash’s bed, lay the cell phone where he’d thrown it. There was nothing beyond friendship between us, or so I reminded myself every so often.

    My warm covers didn’t make the chill go away as I lay there, facing the wall – away from where Cash sat on his bed, staring at the wall in front of the two beds, at the closet. My teddy didn’t make me feel safer, nothing did. Not the knife under my pillow. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I couldn’t even conjure memories to drag me to sleep, as none came. I could swear I hear the hours tick by on the digital clock, though it was impossible to. They dragged on slowly, until my world eventually faded to a light sleep – and it was dawn.

Guardian Angel, Chapter Three

Chapter Two:

    The red LED clock read one o’clock in the morning when I awoke to the sounds of somebody creeping in my room. “Cash?” I asked, taking the knife from my pillow and opening it with a faint snapping sound. “Yea, Krist. It’s me,” his voice was calm, but tired. “You can put that away. It’s okay.”

    I set it down on my lap as I sat up, and picked out his silhouette from the faint light in the room. “Where were you?” I asked. “What was that fight about?” With a yawn, I heard Cash’s covers being pulled back. “Just another petty one. Nothing big – but the cops had to be called in when they started involving some other people. Minor cuts and bruises, no one’s dead.” Cash sounded more tired then I’d originally thought. “Okay, I guess,” I sighed, then closed the knife carefully before sticking it back under my pillow. “Good night, Krista,” he said, and then lay down, turning towards his wall. I took my turn to be quiet, and then returned to my dreams.

    Then the light hit my face. “Wha-?” I said, covering my eyes as I realized it was daytime already. “Wake up you two, it’s already eight,” the female voice belonged to the harsher of the four supervisors, and she was snapping at us already. I shoved the covers away from myself and hopped out of the bed as rapidly as I could. Cash had already done the same, and when Mrs. Hicks had left the room with a couple final warning glares at the two of us, we both sagged back onto our mattresses. “Where are you going today?” He asked.

    “Dunno. Maybe the park?” I sighed, rubbing my eyes. “How about you? Where are you working this week?” I asked, and looked at him. His blond hair was disheveled, and his dark eyes were bleary. He looked a little grungy, like he’d allowed himself to hit the ground when helping the staff deal with the fight. Even though Cash looked light and agile, he was fast, and as far as I could tell from the wiry muscles that occasionally showed under his barely olive skin. What kids like him were doing here, I didn’t know; he refused to tell me anything about how he got here. He refused to tell me anything about his past, not in a rude way – he just always avoided the questions. “I’m not,” he sighed. “So do you mind if I come with you?”

    I shrugged. “No problem, I guess.” I said, and then stood up and went to get a fresh set of clothes. Jeans, socks, a long sleeve tee, and my sweatshirt. My fingerless gloves and a scarf that someone much have returned during the night sat on my small dresser. “I’ll buy lunch, too.” He said, and then stepped out of the room for a moment while I changed. When I opened the door and allowed him back in, I was fully dressed. He already had his shirt off, but clearly had no intention on taking his pants off. His muscular shoulders flexed while he reached for a fresh shirt, and I had to watch him for a second to remember that it was actually a human in front of me.

    “Ready to go?” He asked, tossing me a granola bar from his stash when I’d slung my guitar over my shoulder. “Yep,” I said with a sigh, and then made my way with him out the door.
The building was most of the way vacated by now, but a few stragglers seemed to have been awakened in the same manner that Cash and I had. We didn’t linger for much longer than we had to, but as we left the door, something made me check my pocket for my knife. I’d remembered to put it there, and so with a sigh, I left the halfway home.
    “So, Krista,” Cash asked after a little while of walking towards the park. “What’s bugging you?” He asked. “You seem to be bothered by something.” His dark eyes were concerned, but playful as he poked me. “I don’t know, to be honest. Just something gnawing at my mind,” I sighed. “Maybe I’m just hungry?” I asked, and pulled out two dollars and trotted over to a street vendor. “Churro, I guess?” I asked, before Cash reappeared over my shoulder. When I got it, and payed, we started walking again.

    “I hate this city,” I said, after a while. Cash eyed me like I’d said something really strange. “Then why are you even here?” He asked. “You came here by yourself, no one made you.” His point stung briefly, but I knew my own reasoning.  “It’s easy to disappear here, though. It’s one of my biggest irritants, but I needed it for a while. I didn’t want my family to find me, once they regretted their decision.” I stopped walking, and played with a loose strap on my guitar case. “It’s just that, you could disappear against your own will here, and not many people would care. There are too many people, and it’s a claustrophobic environment,” I said. “The violence, too, is just ridiculous.” I looked up at the sky, but even here it seemed blocked out by tall buildings.

    “I understand how you feel, then.” Cash said, but then grabbed my hand. “Come on, it’s going to be a good day. Don’t think about negative stuff, okay?” He said. Something about his words seemed falsely optimistic, like he was hiding something. “Okay,” I said, swallowing my fears, and walking on with him. The park was occupied by the city mothers and their kids, but a few people stood outside that group: the jobless, and wanderers, but others seemed shady and on the outskirts, but with Cash’s encouragements only a few seconds before, I chose to put my better judgements aside.

    I began playing my normal routine of songs, before deciding to work on some of my own songs. While Cash had once been able to weave his melodies in and out of my songs, he seemed now to have paused, then he continued, weaving his own song in.
                       

















So just when I found myself again,
I lost the dirty ground.                   

Sing your beautiful requiem,
I’ll shelter you from all of them.

Searching for the ones that aren’t lost
But won’t soon be found

In my arms, please rest your head,
And if you want, I’ll sing with you,

 Your requiem.

Drifting in a frigid sea
That people say once was part of me

A world of vacant promises,
And biased unbalanced hypothesis.

Can’t say that I can disagree
But ‘perfect’ is something we’ll never be.

True freedom lost to the tyranny.
It’s here that we see the true bigotry.

Sweet requiem - here we go again
To sing when the faith descends.
Like a figure in the opera house,
Disfigured and hidden - though known about.
I’ll sing to you when I need you most,
For you are my words - and I your host.

 
    When the song ended, I realized that many people had stopped to listen to the two of us, and that my open guitar case had a fair amount of coins and more than a couple dollar bills in it. Cash lounged against me, and sighed. “You didn’t tell me you were that good, angel,” his voice was slick, and amused. People applauded for a little while as Cash stood and gave small bows to amuse them further. I simply smiled and shook my head at him, until he finally sat down again. “Do you know how to play this song?” He asked, and then whispered the name in my ear. Slowly, I picked out the riff.

“Falling slowly, eyes that know me, and I can’t go back.”