How to Be a Guardian Angel -- Chapter 4

Wow! Update guys -- I've just been informed that my story has made it past the first cut for the writing scholarship, despite my earlier statements of not being sure that I was going to even hear back from them at all. I guess I'll keep the blog updated as to how I'm doing on it.

Chapter Four

Exhausted, I climbed out of bed when dawn had arrived. It was maybe eight in the morning, but Cash was sitting on his bed, in the spot he hadn’t moved from since he’d sat down last night. I didn’t try to talk to him.

“What’s going through your head, Krista?” He asked as I grabbed my clothes.

“Numbness. Exhaustion.” I said, and killed the urge to yawn as it passed through my body, turning into a violent shudder. The knife that had been in my fingers hit the floor and flew open, missing my exposed tows by inches. “What’s going to happen?” I asked.

Cash took a sharp breath, but I got no other reply.

I dressed in silence after that, but left my guitar case. '“If something happens, then, take my stuff. I take it that somebody’s going to want it. I don’t want anyone else to have it.” I looked up at him with a bitter glance, but he nodded.

“Good luck, Krista.” He said, and then appeared in front of me. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.” He kissed me on my forehead, and I felt dizzy from the touch.

Then he was away from me, and down the hallway. I tied my black hair into a ponytail, stared my green eyes down from the mirror, and left my knife on the dresser. I wouldn’t need it where I was going, and I wanted to get it back if there was ever a chance. I didn’t know if there was even going to be a chance of coming back, but from what Cash had been hinting at – I wasn’t leaving for good. Puzzling thoughts, I realized, when nobody had even mentioned death.

The streets weren’t busy. A couple stragglers to work were rushing towards the nearest bus stops, but the paths were clear to the park. The same shady people were there, but they payed no attention to me as I stalked through in just a tee shirt and my jeans. My boots were silent against the cobblestones, but the sky was gray and the wind echoed in my ears.

Then there were sirens, and the park seemed to be surrounded by cops. It was too late for me as somebody grabbed me from behind, and I felt the cold hard metal of a gun against my ribs. “Don’t come close, or the bitch gets it!” The person screamed, and I realized that I had chosen poorly. I locked eyes with the officers, but they seemed as stunned as I was. I struggled, but the man’s arm was like steel around my neck and upper body. The gun dug deeper into my ribs, and I whimpered. I looked around wildly, and then saw Cash running around the corner.

A gunshot tore through the air. It hit next to my foot, and I realized that an officer must have fired. Oh damn this is bad, I thought. The coherency in my mind was returning hurriedly, until the gunman holding me freaked, and fired.

Right through me.

The pain didn’t last long, because I bled out too quickly. I died, there in the park. So did the gunman, but it didn’t matter. My last mental image was of Cash, wide-eyed at the corner, watching in despair. He’d known it was going to happen – but like this? I guess even this had to have been a shocker, in this city....

.....right?

Part Two

* * *

Dead.

Being ‘dead’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Especially since, now, I’m somebody who died in one of the biggest gang related incidents in New York. Unclaimed by anybody, my body had been cremated. My spirit was lost now, in the city.

I was a spirit only until my body was destroyed. Then, I was back. Sitting on the park bench, like I’d been there all along. I had been dead, though. I knew it – and the hollow sensation in my chest reminded me every time I looked around. People walked by like they’d never seen me before, but when I looked at my hands, I saw no difference. I even had the same ring on that I’d been wearing before the accident. The park, however, did look different. The trees were bigger, and the new park bench that Cash and I had been sitting on what seemed like only a matter of days ago was old now.

“What happened?” I voiced aloud, only earning myself a couple stares from the people around me. When I looked at my shoes, and then saw everybody else’s, I froze. I was even more outdated then I’d been. Not that it mattered at the moment. The point was disturbing, and when I stood, I realized that I stood out more than I had thought. People watched me out of the corner of their eyes, and as I loped away, my fresh and unworn clothing clung to my skin like a sign of the days to come.

Around the corner, I ran. I ran the roads back to where I thought the halfway house was, but when I arrived at where it should have been, I skidded to a halt. The building was no more – and in it’s place was just another run-of-the-mill apartment complexes that had been increasingly common to the area. It was new, though, so as the fear of possible dimension changes flashed into my mind’s eye, I shook it out. This was still the New York I’d left. It had just moved on, like things did. But how long had I really been gone?

I walked to find a drug store, and then found a newspaper. The date was 2015. Four years had passed, and yet so much had changed. “Do you want to buy it, or are you just going to stand there gripping it like it’s your only hope?” The store clerk eyed me over half-moon spectacles, his smile friendly despite the half-threatening joke he’d just spouted.

“No, I’m just looking at the date. Can’t believe I couldn’t remember it this morning. I lost my phone, that’s all.” I said, acting like any normal person would have. “I don’t have any money.”

The old man nodded, and then went to help a customer who had walked up with items. “Goodbye,” I said, with a backwards smile. It faded when I left the store, and began my aimless walk through the city. I kept my eyes on the ground, in case the people suddenly did remember my face, maybe from some paper or news report. No one stopped to talk to me, which meant that my hunched shoulders were working. I didn’t stop to realize, as the day drew on, that my stomach hadn’t began to feel empty. My energy levels, however, were a different matter. My head seemed foggy as I walked around another corner, the shadows growing deeper. A city church bell sang out that it was eight in the evening, I realized that it must have been late summer, maybe fall. I hadn’t, however, felt the heat of the day.

Some shops were closing, probably because of the gang activity that had rocked this part of town, only four years ago. Not much, physically, had changed of the city. Mentally, though, people had moved on. There were more new cars, sure. New buildings had been built, yes. But the faces here were still tired, and worn, and the rush of the city still surged on. I walked past other various tech shops until I saw the giant arch in front of me. I was at the main entrance of China Town, but what had pulled me back I couldn’t tell. My meanderings had been directionless, taking me wherever my body had leaned. The coincidence was uncanny, but I walked on despite the vague thrill that charged up my spine from my toes.

Hours ticked on as I walked through the neighborhoods. It eventually grew to be full dark, when the lights of the streets flickered on in full and the restaurants, too, began to close down. It was then that I walked past the restaurants and heard the voice speak my name.

“Hey there, Angel.”

I didn’t turn around as I felt something on my back stretch out and then fold inwards. What? I asked myself to keep calm as my mind subconsciously recognized who had spoken, and the shock of it sank in.

“I’m glad you found your way back, Krista,” he said. Then footsteps came closer, coming down the short set of steps.

I didn’t turn to face Cash as his hand ran up the things that I had just felt appear on my back. “Come on, demon got your tongue? I’m really happy to see you again.” He touched my shoulder, and helped me turn around.

“Wings?” I asked, seeing the great white things on his back., mirroring mine.

“As a matter of fact,” he said quietly. “Surprised?” He asked, touching my face.

I slapped it away. “I want some explanations, if you don’t mind.” I stepped closer to him. “Why am I here, and why the hell do you suddenly have wings?”

His smile faded a little, and he put his hand on my shoulder, reassuringly. “I think the better question you should ask, is why you have them too” He said, and past my shoulder he reached again to touch something. There was a long shudder that ran down my body.

“Why do I have wings?” I asked, my voice a softer tone than I'd used.

“Because you're an angel, same as me. I’ve been one for longer than you’ve known me. The only reason you couldn’t see them before was that only other angels and the fallen can.” His brown eyes glittered in the night light, and I saw something like adoration in them. He seemed to be soaking me back in.

I stretched my wings out. They were big, but not huge. I guessed, then, that celestial beings didn’t need physics. Cash watched me with the same look, and out of the corner of my eye I watched him cock his head to the side and smile as kept his eyes on me. “Why am I like this?” I asked.

“They picked you for guardian duty a couple weeks before you died. I wasn’t your guardian – I couldn’t protect you because of their orders.”

“Why was I picked?” I said, thinking in my head at the wings to just go away. They didn’t.

“I can explain that later, but let’s get back to my place. There are creatures here that would pick a fight, if we’re not careful enough.”

I looked around, but almost missed Cash as he started walking away. Somebody crept passed in an alley, and I shuddered at the memory of my death. I ran to catch up with the boy that had once been a security. Now, he was even more of a curiosity than he had been once before.

His apartment was in a deeper part of the city, surrounded by other apartments and hotels. Taxis swarmed the area, dropping people off. I could actually smell the greed rolling off some people now. I could also smell the sadness of others. There was something here that made my hair stand on end – but when Cash took my hand, the sensation faded.

His apartment was huge, but I didn’t pause to take in the decor. “So what’s going on?” I demanded, turning to face him with my hands on my hips.

“Whoa girl,” Cash laughed at my reaction. “Take a deep breath, and tell me what you really want to know.”

Cash leaned against his kitchen counter, and stuck a hand in his pocket. He was far more relaxed here than he’d been – or was it because he was only far more relaxed around me? “Where was I for those four years? Why am I an angel?” I refined the question into the parts that bothered me the most.

Cash looked at me for a while. “You were dead. Simple as that. Time passes differently in Heaven than it does here. You were probably only in Heaven for a few seconds, just passing through, before they sent you back. As for why you’re an angel,” Cash sighed. “I wouldn’t really know a true fact about it. What I do know is that you were practically an angel already, when it came to what you did for that boy. You did a lot for him, even though you owed him nothing.”

I hadn’t even thought about Devyn, not since after that day. I also hadn’t thought that I was doing that good by helping him. “You had a big heart, considering all the shit that happened to you, Kris.”

I walked closer to him, looking at the wings that were still visible on his back. “Is there any way to hide them?” I asked. “No; and not that we would be allowed to, either. It’s a rule.”

“What other rules are there, if such a silly thing is one of them?” I asked. Cash sighed.

“Well, for one thing, it’s a basic element of taking some respect for what you are, and who you’re working for, Krista. Secondly, there are too many rules to count. All I know is that under no circumstances are we to break the Big Ten, and to never fall in love with somebody on Earth. It’s the quickest way to become a Fallen.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “A Fallen. Like, a fallen angel?” I asked, laughing.

Cash shook his head, not looking at me. When he did though, I sensed his piqued anger. “This isn’t a joke, Krista. These are rules, and if you’re turned into a Fallen, you can never come back.”

I watched him in silence, as all the humor fell away. My mind wandered to the night just before I’d died, when he’d been yelling, and then had found me at the door. Even though the boy before me clearly had the mark of the divine on his back, there was a dark side that I clearly hadn’t seen much of before. After a while, however, the dark look in his eyes faded into the usual mischievous glitter. He pulled me over to a sofa, and said that I could do whatever I wanted here, when he was around. We talked about little things, until another question finally popped into my head.

“Why doesn’t anybody remember me? People I used to see at the park looked right at me, and didn’t seem to know my face at all,” I pointed out what I’d noticed when I’d been sitting at the bench. Cash leaned toward me, sitting crossed legged as I was on the sofa. Looking me dead in the eyes as he pulled a small smile.

“The benefit of living in New York is that not many people are going to try and hold onto a face that they didn’t even know that well. All it takes is a mass brain fuzz by whatever powers that be, and then you’re not even part of history anymore. I doubt even your family still has a picture of you, as well. It all just disappears – so even though you live in an amnesiac town, nobody else knows you either.”

I took in the information slowly, wondering with a numb sensation, how I actually felt about it. I mean, my family had left me to die out here, so why would it bother me to hear something like that? They’d probably forgotten about me anyways.

It hurt, though, to think that even though I had still loved them, and maybe still did, that they wouldn’t even know that I’d died. They wouldn’t even know that I’d existed. With a harsh laugh, I threw my head back onto the sofa with a thud that only meant I’d hit the wall, instead of my target. It didn’t hurt at all – I didn’t feel anything at the impact. My entire reality was different, and there was not a thing I could do to fix anything that had happened.